I'm feeling pretty good in myself. I weigh less than my fattest but not as little as my thinnest, which is fine. It's within the healthy range. I can still run 5 miles pretty comfortably & with training can do more. I can do a spin class (even one of Elisa's!) My school work is done, as much as anyone's ever is. I eat well, especially now daughter can cook! I drink perhaps a little too much but as Jerome K Jerome wrote 'thirst is a dangerous thing!'
I am very privileged to have great friends and family. There is always somewhere to turn, someone to listen. Including my wonderful Twitter friends. There is always laughter too. Some of my friends and family aren't around any more but if there's one thing I'm sure of it is that they are somewhere.
I'm not keen on 40, as I said. I wasn't keen on 30 either. I spent the last night of my twenties listening to Duran Duran & feeling impending doom! What was a fabulous and pleasant surprise though was how much more comfortable with who I am I became in my thirties. How much more confident in school leadership too.
It's very hard to be confident with the shifting sands we stand on as school leaders. I noticed & commented on a question about the popularity of Estelle Morris as education secretary yesterday. My comment was that she was neither hated nor reviled. 140 characters isn't a lot is it? In my opinion she was popular with heads but teachers were fairly ambivalent toward her. She stepped down just before I was a head but I hear from others that they felt supported by her. That her actions and work supported school leaders. She couldn't continue to do that though within her context and stepped down rather than do that in which she did not believe. Political landscapes change and the money ran out. That's how I perceive it and I suppose the idea of her in that context might be popular. She did the best she could under the circumstances. As the years go on I find I am able to do that more and more.
I hope my new decade continues to fuel me to keep stepping up though. I'm not finished yet with this job I love, not anywhere near. I also hope I continue to feel more confident, but never arrogant. I don't want to be full of it but I'd like to be a teensy bit less scared of the fraud police! (Those imaginary forces that confirm what I secretly suspect...that I actually have no idea what I'm doing!) I credit Amanda Palmer with that term & I think many of us know the feeling.
So, with ten days to go until I'm 40 I'm going to put 4 songs on Twitter each day. Today is 1975-1978. A musical history of me.
Here is the first. From 'Young Americans' by Bowie 1975, the year I was born. It's actually a Beatles cover. Lennon & Mcartney ✨