My husband Andy was in hospital for the first of six week long inpatient chemotherapy sessions. To say I was struggling would be an understatement, I can't explain the shock and fear.
It was the day of my 23 year old friend Gemma's funeral (who had also been at Amanda Palmer with me less than a month earlier) I couldn't go to the funeral. She died the day Andy was diagnosed with cancer. She died of heart failure. There are still no real answers after 2 inquest hearings. I feel so deeply for the Geldofs right now.
I had to do something. My brain was trying to climb out of my skull & launch itself as far as possible via the trampoline in the garden!
So I decided to do 'never again' again.
I looked up how to get a golden bond place in the London Marathon for Macmillan Cancer Support. I had done London once before, in 2005. I did an ok time, 4 hours 50, but didn't enjoy the last 8 at all. Absolutely torturous. As I struggled through the last 0.2 miles a 2 person camel arrangement sprinted past me! Says it all!
In 2008 I did the New York City Marathon which was amazing. I ran slower and enjoyed every bit of running through all 5 boroughs. From walking through NYC to the library at 4am being shouted wishes of luck from everyone on the street at that time from cleaners to police to hookers, to the Statten Island ferry passing the Statue of Liberty at 5am to crossing the line to Bruce Springsteen Born to run' to finishing & meeting my NY buddy Cecilia for beers it was quite a day.
I am a little haunted though by the fact that as I crossed the finish line in Central Park feeling great someone not that far away from me on the finish line died. We had to stop as they cordoned it all all off & had her picked up.
Euphoria and pain seem oh so closely linked.
I didn't raise money the first 2 marathons as I was a selfish twit! I got a ballot place in 2005 & paid to do NYC. This time I needed to give back.
Rob from Macmillan was an absolute brick from the start & if I am physically able to I will be finding him on Sunday at the 19 mile cheerpoint at Canary Wharf.
When I committed to raise £2500 I didn't think I'd have a chance but I already have over £3100. There's also £200 to come from my auntie shaking little old ladies upside down for loose change at WI!
I guess there's two choices. Keep running or stop running. I choose to keep running.